stack's ON!


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The Face

Mumma, I’m telling you….I did not get dry food this morning.

Look at my face. Does this look like a face that would lie to you?

Why are you picking up your phone?

No, don’t call Mum. We all know she hasn’t got the best memory.

Aw, c’mon! Don’t listen to her!

Look at me! I’m wasting away!

Fine! Don’t give me extra dry food then. Walk away, I don’t care!

I’m going to go pee in your kitchen sink….

skhilled_270515


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The Kitten’s Revenge

Do not be fooled by this image of absolute adorableness….

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This kitten is a troublemaker and I had the pleasure of being at the receiving end of her cheekiness a fortnight ago.

We’ve had The Kitten for a month now. Patterns are starting to emerge. 

Lately, I’ve been the first to get out of bed. The Kitten tries to trip me up as I walk to the bathroom. I like to think it’s because she loves me and not the fact that she’s hungry. She then proceeds to watch me shower. I’ve learnt not to feel self conscious about this.

The Kitten continues to trip me up as I walk to the kitchen. While The Kitten eats her breakfast I try to make mine and eat  it as quickly as possible before she’s finished. Otherwise, I spend my time trying to avoid her attempts to nip and claw my legs. At that stage we hadn’t figured out how to curb this behaviour. Same goes for her love of chewing electrical cords (Pet ownership is new territory for us).

A suggestion online said to use a citrus spray as a deterrent so The Wifey bought citrus smelling surface wipes. We laid them over the cords. It seemed to help.

So on this fateful morning, while I was attempting to eat and The Kitten was chewing on the laces of my Converse Hi-Tops,  I opened the container of citrus wipes and slowly lowered it for her to have a sniff. She sniffed, bolted, and I was finally able to complete my breakfast in peace. Success!

I later went into the bedroom to kiss The Wifey before leaving for work. I noticed The Kitten lying on my latest pair of Converse Hi-Tops (I may have a few pairs). She was starting to chew on the laces but I didn’t mind since they weren’t on my feet.

I told her to be good while I was gone. The Kitten took one look at me, turned around and squatted.

Her stance looked oddly familiar. It looked like the stance she takes when she is in her kitty litter box. I took a closer look, hoping that my deduction was incorrect. I was wrong.

The Kitten was peeing on my brand new Cons!

I didn’t pick her up out of fear that the spray would cover every surface of the bedroom. I just stood there in shock.

“CARL, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The Kitten did not listen and apparently did not care. She skipped out of the room leaving me gobsmacked.

I have washed my Cons twice. I don’t think they smell of pee anymore.

We stopped using the citrus wipes.

The Kitten had won the first round.

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Yes, Carl! You should feel ashamed!