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The 2am Writing Sesh Under The Covers

As the title suggests, I wrote this at 2am. I have typed it as is. I apologise in advance.

It’s 2am and I’m wide awake. Ive spent the last 2 hours reading from my phone under the covers so that I don’t wake up The Wifey. It’s been very insightful reading and I’m looking forward to exploring it more except that now my mind is wired and full of ideas. This is a good thing. It also mentioned how getting enough sleep is integral to functioning well. Clearly, I need to work on this area. Even my acupuncturist told me I need to sleep more. Maybe that’s what I’ll read up on next….techniques on going to bed earlier and getting enough sleep. I’m not good at meditating but I’ve been really concentrating on my breathing technique when I do yoga. In Bali we learnt a breathing technique where you breathe in while blocking one nostril, hold, then release the breath through the other nostril. You breathe in through that same nostril, hold, and repeat. Twice this week I’ve had trouble sleeping and twice I’ve attempted to this breathing technique. Each time I’ve had a blocked nostril. The breathing technique ain’t so easy to do with a blocked nostril….funny that. We took The Cat to the vet today for her first check up since adding her to the family just over a year ago. She is not a fan. We were surprisingly anxious. This would validate (or not) our parenting skills. Conclusion….she needs to lose a little weight (being an indoor cat, this is a common problem), and she has a tartar/plaque build up on her back teeth. I asked the vet how this was possible since we only give her super premium food (yes, she is spoilt) and the vet told us that it can happen if animals tend to wolf down their food and not chew enough (to produce saliva). The Cat is definitely a wolfer (she wolfs down her wet food). We were given tips on how to help her lose some weight (apart from the obvious “give her less” we are now going to make her work for it) and told that dentistry is the only way to remove all her tartar/plaque. The Cat is not going to like us. This little check up will eventually cost us over $500. Ouch! The whole reason of telling you about The Cat’s check up is because a) I have a tendency to go off topic and forget the point of the story b) it eventually leads to me explaining the reason as to why The Cat is now curled up on the bed in-between The Wifey and I….she likes to be close to us after a ‘traumatic’ experience. Which is all very adorable. I must admit that I do enjoy feeling her little body curled up next to me. But there is a catch. I’m 99% sure that the reason I can’t sleep is because I’m not curled up to a certain other person. Call me a sap but every night I end up falling asleep with The Wifey in my arms. Nothing is better and it’s my favourite part of the night. I really should just move The Cat over but the ridiculous thing is I just can’t do it. I could try and nudge her until she wakes up and moves of her own accord but again, I can’t. And just placing a hand on The Wifey doesn’t cut it. It’s 2.30am. This is ridiculous. I’m going to do it. I’m going to nudge her. The Cat, not The Wifey.


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The Clinker

I’m pretty sure it’s mixed in.

CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK.

I don’t think it’s necessary for you to mix your drink that aggressively.

CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK.

Oh, we also have a slurper.

SLURP, SLURP, SLURP.

CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK.

Excellent.

Surely there is nothing left in your glass?

SLURP, SLURP, SLURP.

Apparently there is.

Oh, wait. You’re leaving?!

No, please stay.

*exhales*


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The Good Listener

The brother-in-law is typing away on his iPad. I can tell he is not listening to me. So I decide to tell him a story.

“So then I took all my clothes off and did a nudie run into the lake where a shark ate me….”

Still typing.

“But then it spat me back up….”

Still typing.

“And I pooed my pants….”

The brother-in-law responds.

“Now I know you’re making it up!”


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The Vacation

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Why? Because right now I’m on vacation. You jelly?

The Wifey and I have been away for 2 weeks. 3 days in Hong Kong were followed by 10 days in New York.

I’m currently sitting in my brother-in laws’ (The Wifey’s brother and his husband) gorgeous new home in Vancouver. We’re drinking tea, reading books and eating homemade banana cake. It is bliss.

You might be wondering why we’re lounging around (without the boys) on a gorgeous summer day, when we should be exploring the city and it’s incredible surroundings?

Well, because we can. We have 2 weeks in Vancouver to explore and catch up with friends. We’re in no rush. As you can imagine, Hong Kong and New York were amazing….and full on!

I might write about it.

It’s been an absolute blast but as any tourist will attest, it can be tiring. I’m not complaining. It’s just nice to sit back without my feet throbbing and my t-shirt drenched in sweat.

If we can peel ourselves off the couch, we’ll head to Granville Island (a fave of ours. It’s where we got married). Until then, I’ll just read one more chapter….or maybe two. Might even have a nap.

Why? Because we can.

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The Grunter

The Wifey and I returned to personal training last week after a month’s absence.

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it (no offense, Thomas) because…

a) early mornings are not my bag,

b) it’s exercise…. early in the morning,

and c) after a month off, I knew my body was going to pay fot it!

“Hello, delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS). Meet my quads”

When we arrived, we discovered some new faces. We also discovered that one of these faces has a penchant for grunting.

Forget Maria Sharapova, this dude grunts and moans as loud as I imagine a dude would if he were giving birth…. to an elephant.

The gym is small. There is nowhere to escape. There is no boxing paraphernalia in which to unleash your pent up frustration and anger towards this ridiculous spectacle.

If it’s a form of attention seeking, I don’t know how this would attract the ladies. Considering The Wifey and I were the only ladies present was already not working in his favour. If ladies aren’t his preference, he’s not faring well with the fellas either since all the guys are shaking their heads and sniggering at him. I should also mention that The Grunter is not small or wiry. He has bulk. The no neck, can’t put my arms down along my side, kind of bulk.

Every push up,

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

Every squat,

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

Every bicep curl,

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

I start to develop a nervous tick.

I am not a violent person but images of me hurling dumbells towards his grunting head looks more and more appealing.

As I lift my last set of dumbells above my head, I watch him squat and lift a weighted bar.

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

“AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH”

That’s when I notice it. The temptation to express my displeasure reaches breaking point….

“DUDE! Explain to me how a man of your solid build can grunt like he’s passing a kidney stone when he’s ONLY LIFTING 5KG MORE THAN ME!?”

I don’t actually express my displeasure. Instead, I drop my dumbells and walk out the door.

How am I going to deal with this every session?

2 days later we return to the gym. The Grunter is nowhere to be seen. It is the most pleasant exercise experience EVER!

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The Autumn Day

I wrote this post on the 5th April. Clearly I never posted it.

I haven’t written anything since that day because in the month that followed my little world was turned upside down. 

I’m ok. The Wifey is ok. The Kitten is ok.

One day I might talk about the month that followed this date. Today is not that day.

Today I share the time when everything was cruising along like normal….

It is a GORGEOUS autumn day and the most productive thing I’ve done is buy The Kitten’s food and turned on the dishwasher.

The rest of the time has been spent lounging on the couch reading fluff and downing copious amounts of green tea. The windows and doors are open and the birds are chirping in a nearby tree. The Kitten naps in her favourite spot.

I should probably feel guilty for not spending it outside but I don’t think I’d find it as relaxing sitting outside while The Kitten protests inside with meows that would break your heart.

The Wifey should be home soon. We have a date with a dvd tonight. Maybe we’ll squeeze a bike ride in beforehand.

Either way, I know the night will end with a snuggle on the couch before The Wifey falls asleep, drools on my top and softly snores in my ear. The Kitten, not wanting to miss out, will plonk her furry little butt on my chest.

A gorgeous day followed by a perfect ending.

Life is good.

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Told ya!


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The Ticketed Game

Last weekend marked the first round of the 2014 AFL (Australian Football League) season.

Footy is well and truly back and it feels mighty fine.

My boys, the North Melbourne Kangaroos, are playing against the Essendon Bombers tonight.

It’s our home game.

It’s also a fully ticketed match due to anticipated high demand. This means that areas usually classified as general admission are now allocated seating which translates into me having to pay extra money.

I dislike ticketed games immensely.

After all, why should I fork out extra money for a seat not of my choosing , for a game I’ve already paid for due to my club membership?

I know it may seem petty but it’s the principle of the thing.

I usually boycott ticketed matches but The Wifey and The Sister-in-law were eager to go….and I can’t miss out.

So come tonight, I’ll be sitting in the nose bleed section next to who knows, hoping my boys make it worth it….CARN NORTH!

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